My Husband Forgot My Birthday Again
husband forgot my altogether and I just tin can't go over information technology
(129 Posts)
Completely forgot my birthday and had to be reminded that morning. Absolutely no effort whatsoever to make it up to me in any way. Came home and said I was going to get out at luncheon and buy you a new mop (sad) but I didn't accept time. Cried nigh information technology last night and he was very very sorry only I just can't get my head round why he hasn't tried to make it up to me. I can remember of ten yard things he could have done. He could even have simply sent me an electronic mail in the mean solar day saying I'm and then sorry for forgetting I beloved you, you are marvellous let's get out for dinner together old soon or something.
I know he isn't going to endeavor and brand information technology up to me so I need to just endeavor and forget near information technology merely I feel only so and then sad and can't shake it. I am drastic for him to just make a little try to make me feel cared about. Feel like such a blob of a person just begetting children, cooking meals, going to work etc. Want to be made to experience a bit special, attractive, girly etc for once. While he is wonderful he never ever makes me experience special of attractive or does anything nice for me. He is a great DH though and I'm sure very helpful with life stuff compared to some husbands (even so obviously isn't 50/fifty though).
Ordinarily I wouldn't expect much at all on my altogether, don't think it is a huge deal. Just wanted a cup of tea, carte and a little something to open up. Now I feel like every hour that goes by that he still hasn't fabricated it up to me I want something more to make upwardly for information technology.
And then tell me, AIBU? As in is this only spousal relationship and really in the scheme of things not so bad when your DH is a lovely person?
I think you lot demand to sit down and explicate to him how yous experience. He may exist thinking it'south about a birthday, which isn't a big deal to a lot of adults, whereas it reads to me, correct me if I'm wrong, similar it's a symptom of a big trouble of you really feeling unloved, unappreciated, unvalued, unwanted?
That's a problem. Information technology'due south not lilliputian and information technology's non OTT. And feeling like that is non 'just wedlock'.
Yous need to tell him how y'all feel and tell him what you need in order to feel happy and loved.
You lot'd retrieve that y'all wouldn't have to spell such stuff out to people, wouldn't you lot? But sometimes you do accept to.
Is he usually quite good when it comes to things like this?
Have you told him that it wasn't too late for him to make up for information technology?
I'm distressing you had such a shit birthday and I hope these help a little 
.
The thing is I accept. And y'all are partly very right about feeling unappreciated. I explained it so much (and have said it before). He always listens, says I exercise appreciate you so much etc merely there is some sort of bulwark where he just can't do anything about information technology. He is just and so not a gestures, saying things type of person. I say things and say things, he listens simply then I think thinks 'phew glad we've stopped talking now' every bit soon as information technology is over and then that is that.
Happy birthday pigwidgeon 
He's an arsehole. I don't understand how i "forgets" their partner'due south altogether. And don't let him fox you off with a mop either. It'south isn't childish or grabby in the slightest to want a thoughtful present form someone who's supposed to honey you and so much they've bound themselves legally to yous for life.
Eh? He was going to buy you a new mop? Is that correct?
I remember this is about more than than a forgotten birthday y'all sound very down and the birthday simply focused everything.
Maybe a good eye to middle about why you experience and so unappreciated and a few changes need to happen but I know it is difficult to actually practise.
ah, ok, well, that's good and bad, isn't information technology? Good that you are able to tell him how you experience just bad that he's not able to take that and do things that would make y'all experience amend.
Have you told him what specific things would make the difference to you? Given him examples of things that matter to yous?
Because I am sure that information technology is not that he tin't do anything almost information technology. Assuming he is a fully operation adult, he clearly could, and so it is that he isn't. So the question is - why isn't he?
It is a bit mad. I actually listed yesterday suggestions of things he could have washed to make upwards for forgetting and make me feel a scrap special (e.g. book a eating place for some time in the future and say that he will sort out babysitter and I don't have to worry about it, just show up for the meal etc, come up habitation with some dinner or a agglomeration of flowers) so I am just not understanding why there hasn't today been any kind of gesture. He knows I'm actually really upset and that this has made me experience so undervalued and crummy.
Am not sure I concord Hecate. I retrieve I am on the depression end of the spectrum in expectancies for birthdays. But even if I'm not, surely everyone wants it to exist actually acknowledged? Fifty-fifty if merely a 'happy birthday darling'? I don't believe anyone would shrug off an ignoring of their birthday would they? Peradventure?
PS the mop is something nosotros have talked virtually getting (he has been VERY groovy to get it) so it wouldn't exist completely insane but nevertheless not the almost 'you lot are my special wife' gift.
Did Mother'south Day besides get ignored?
I'm so sorry y'all had a shit birthday, pigwidgeom . I don't call up you've been silly at all - information technology'due south symptomatic of a wider trouble in your wedlock, that he doesn't think your feelings are of import.
Since you've already told him how y'all feel and he doesn't seem to intendance, I really think you need to consider whether this is a bargain-breaker for yous. If it is, then I'g very distressing 
. If it isn't, and so terminate doing anything for his birthday too, and gloat your own with friends and DCs. Because it clearly doesn't matter at all to him so that lets you off the hook a chip as well.
A onetime colleague of mine did something similar to his long-term DP. She dumped him after a birthday where he presented her with a hastily wrapped roasting tin that he'd got out of the kitchen cupboard. Funnily plenty it proved to be the catalyst for alter, they got dorsum together afterwards he realised how thoughtless he'd been and how dreadful it made her experience, and have been happily married for nearly 2 decades. But he loved her deeply and felt awful when it finally got through to him what he risked losing.
Nope, that's shit. I don't look to be treated like a "pwincess" on my birthday, but I desire something to acknowledge information technology.
The mop comment would piss me right off, birthdays gifts are supposed to be treats, who the fuck thinks cleaning the kitchen floor is a treat??? Take it to the logical next stride as well, if he bought the mop for you then it clearly isn't a household cleaning item for any fellow member of hte household, information technology's yours, it therefore is quite clear, cleaning the floor is forever your job.
He's not only failed to buy you a gift, he'south made it clear if he had bought yous a gift, it would be an insulting 1 that put you in your place.
It'd take a lot earlier I'd forgive and forget this combination.
Deplorable, what that I said don't yous agree with? I didn't intend to say that y'all shouldn't look anything for your altogether, what did I say that sounded like that?
Belated happy birthday. Thats a large no-no. The other posters are correct. You dont forget a birthday. Or anniversary or Mothers Twenty-four hours. Of class information technology works the way as well.
But your husband should have fabricated an apology (grovelling). You lot should have shoved the mop where the sunday dont shine cleaning end outset. Tell him how you experience.
I do hope he realises his error and does make amends.
Note: I didn't fifty-fifty become the encarmine mop!
He was massively sorry last night just I just don't call up maxim sorry is enough.
Hecate I simply meant when you said some adults don't really intendance about birthdays. You're correct that information technology is virtually more than the altogether but I practice remember anyone would be bellyaching about it fifty-fifty if it was but nearly the birthday.
ah, ok, thank you. I wouldn't be annoyed if it was simply near the altogether. 
I don't care nearly birthdays. Or valentine's day. Or our ceremony. I only call back what year we got married if I add 1 on to the year our eldest was born A lot of adults actually truly don't care - y'all merely have to read threads on here to see that. But it was not meant to imply that a person shouldn't intendance or that they are wrong if they do! And if y'all read information technology like that, then I am sad. I but meant it every bit in mayhap that'due south why he doesn't 'get it', if he is one of those who really doesn't run into birthdays as a big deal.
Does he expect his birthday to be acknowledged? My DH comes from a family unit that doesn't really celebrate birthdays for adults so he doesn't expect his to be celebrated. He completely ignored my birthday 1 year and didn't really become why I was upset. I explained to him that birthdays are important to me, I wait mine to exist acknowledged with at least a card and some flowers and I will remind him a week before my birthday. He'south got it correct ever since every bit he at present knows what I await.
It is no wonder you feel the way you practice when your married man was going to purchase you a mop for your altogether. And he couldn't even exist arsed to do that.
I wait he expects all the fuss and presents on his birthday 
.
I should have added that a mop is a shit present. I requite DH a list (with pictures)
That would upset me too but having long been used to a husband who simply doesn't understand these things, I have got used to it.
Can't exist that distressing if he does.stuff all well-nigh it. Anyone can say sorry.
He is an arse!
Dp would probably forget - then I remind him - constantly . I too tell him what I would similar, normally a list of things he can selection from as he is notoriously Atrocious at picking gifts.
While he is wonderful he never ever makes me feel special of attractive or does anything nice for me
In one sentence you've managed to completely contrardict yourself.
Either he is wonder and makes yous feel special or he isn't wonderful at all.
I'm guessing he isn't actually that wonderful at all.
If my OH forgot my birthday and and then when he realised, didn't get all out to get in upward to me, I'd be rethinking everything.
Yes seriously!
You should accept shoved the mop where the lord's day dont shine cleaning end get-go.
Even if he can't understand the fuss nearly birthdays, it's important to you and unless he thinks you don't desire to celebrate yours he'd being an arse. He knows it'due south upset you and for that reason alone should be trying to go far up to you. Failing to practise and so just adds salt to the wound IMO. Personally I would not tolerate a partner, who is supposed to beloved me, acting that way. I don't expect grand gestures on my birthday, merely practise expect a partner to try to make the day special for me (a card and pocket-sized souvenir, unprompted, will do), every bit I would for them. The bar needs to be raised; don't lower your expectations and put up with this crap.
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